Tragedy: My brother died September 16, 2007. He was 42.
I am the oldest of four brothers . Over the past couple of years the two youngest brothers have been in motorcycle accidents, and the youngest had been shot. My brother Dale was the next oldest at a year and 4 months younger than me. Dale too loved riding his motorcycle, and was the only of my brothers not to have been injured riding one.
Sunday September 16 he was supposed to help our younger brother Mark move a dog house, but told him on the phone that his arms were hurting and he didn't think he could do it. He was going to take a bath and see if a soak in the tub would make him feel better. In his house the kitchen is just steps away from the bathroom, and as he was in the bath he spoke to a cousin on the phone, and after hanging up with her was talking to his wife as she prepared lunch. She heard him gasp twice. She went into the bathroom to see what was wrong, and he was gone.
Just like that.
His wife, shaken and unsure of what to do, called our younger bother Mark and told him Dale wasn't responding to her. He told her to call 911, and that he would be right there. Getting there before emergence services he tried cpr, but to no avail. Our brother was gone. He called our Dad, and then our Mom, not telling her what had happened but that she needed to come to Dale's house as soon right away. When she arrived EMS was there. Dale was still in the tub. The water was drained, and his waist covered with a towel. My mother came into the house and climbed into the tub with my brother weeping, and holding him. My brother Mark was outside and told that he needed to "get" his mother. He pulled her away and out of the tub.
The coroner arrived. The idea of autopsy on his young son was too much for Dad, and he told the coroner the he didn't "know his d_n job". The coroner threatened to have our Dad arrested. In reality a coroner can order an autopsy of his, or her, own accord to find the cause of death in someone still considered young. The autopsy later revealed that my brother was in need of a quadruple bypass surgery. He died from a massive heart attack.
I live 2 hours away from the rest of my family. That Sunday morning was sunny. Around 8:30 am we began driving our "new to us" Mazda to church. Just a couple of miles down the road the car stopped, and would not start. Triple A was called and the car was towed to our friends house, a friend who has many times kept whatever car we were driving up and going. By the time we got home and took my "work car" to church the morning was mostly over. We went to lunch with a couple from our Sunday School class at a local Ponderosa restaurant. As we were eating and talking my cell phone rang, and the caller i.d. indicated that it was my brother Mark.
"Hey little brother!"
"Brother, I'm afraid I've got some bad news."
Uh oh... Mom??...Dad??
"What is it?"
"It's Dale. He's had a heart attack"
Ok...They'll probably go the hospital in Lexington...I need to leave here and get going...
but then Mark says...
"He didn't make it."
What??
"Oh Mark....don't say that. Say anything but that." I repeated this several times.
I wish I wasn't saying it brother"
"Are Mom and Dad there?"
"Mom is on her way. We're waiting on the coroner. I need to get off here and try to keep Dad out of the house."
"I love you Mark. I just don't even know what to say. We're going to leave now. We'll see you in a little bit."
When we arrived at Dale's house he had been taken away. Our family was there and in shock. His wife and my mother in tears at different turns. Dale's wife asked if I thought I could preach the funeral. I asked her to allow me to give an answer the next day, and the next day I said yes. I had decided that no one could do it better than me. There are more eloquent speakers for sure, but none who would have know and loved him as I did. It was, in a way, a last chance to do something that would somehow honor my brother.
The day of the funeral we remembered his life; his childhood , and his pride in his children. We remembered his laughter, and the way his larger than life personality would take over a room as soon as he entered. We thanked God for his life, and committed him into the Hands of the Savior Who loves us and never forsakes us. The last of those to walk past his casket at the end of the service found it the hardest. Our youngest brother Doug through tears said "I love you Dale". Our mother could hardly be moved away from the casket, and our Dad too was heartbroken. Dales' son daughter and son remained at the casket for several minutes weeping and saying goodbye. His wife kissed him one final time. At forty two years his leaving was far too soon for all of us.
Our brother Mark and a procession of Dales friends on motorcycles led the way to the cemetery that sits atop a hill in our small hometown where my brother lived. As family and friends gathered around the graveside they revved their engines in a loud and touching salute. When the roar of the motorcycles subsided I prayed and our family slowly, a few at a time, made our way back downhill not really wanting to leave. Dales children stayed behind as the casket was lowered into the ground.
We said farewell to our beloved. He was the biggest, the strongest, the loudest. And life will never be the same.
We said farewell, but never good bye.
Never.
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Dale Bradford Hoskins, age 42 died Sunday, September 16, 2007 at his residence. He is the husband of Donnie Jean Shelton Hoskins whom he married January 27, 1995. Dale was born August 17, 1965 in Mt. Vernon, Kentucky. He is the son of Joe Hoskins and Janet Hoskins Frazier. He was a truck driver for Superservice in Somerset, KY. He previously attended the Crab Orchard Christian Church. His favorite hobby was riding his motorcycle. Survivors include: Wife: Donnie Jean Shelton Hoskins of Crab Orchard, KY One Daughter: Annegillette Hoskins of Paris, kY One Son: Jimmy Dale Hoskins of Paris, KY Mother: Janet Proffitt Hoskins Frazier of Crab Orchard, Ky Father: Joe Hoskins of Crab Orchard, KY Three Brothers: Gabriel Lee (Joey) Hoskins of Louisville, KY Mark Shannon Hokins of Stanford, KY Richard Douglas Hoskins of Crab Orchard, KY Dale was preceded in death by a daughter, Kayla Marie Hoskins Funeral Services: 1PM Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007 Place of Services: McKnight Funeral Home Chapel Minister: Gabriel Lee (Joey) Hoskins Place of Burial: Crab Orchard Cemetery Visitation will be after 5PM Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2007 at McKnight Funeral Home Pallbearers Include: Douglas Ray Hoskins, James Proffitt, Scott Bruner, Jerry Shelton, Devon Shelton and Jerry Shelton, Jr. Honorary Pallbearers Include: Chase Hoskins and Adam Shelton |
Rainy Thanksgiving day.
My brother Mark, on the right, and I at Dale's grave on Christmas day.
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