I see a little 2 yr old boy so happy to see me. I can feel the love from him as he hugs my neck and says to his mother "share Gabriel". He wants to go with me to band practice. He follows me everywhere.
It is his 4th Christmas season and his mother and I have taken him to lunch at a Ponderosa restaurant. After we are seated I excuse myself and walking past several tables I hear the sound of his feet running after me as he, apparently needing to go to the restroom, is yelling loudly, "Gabriel! Gabriel! You gotta poop? You gotta poop?". Heading back to our table with him in a few minutes I am red faced with embarrassment as everyone is looking at us and smiling, but it makes a great and funny story over the years to come.
The little man is 5 yrs old and a little sister has come along. He is protective of her and I am glad. He has been and will remain close to his natural father, as is right, but he has begun, on his own, calling me dad too since her birth. We are on a vacation to Sea World and I am video taping him petting, or trying to pet, the dolphins as he calls to them, "If you come to me I'll be sweet to you". He is a great kid.
He is in the 2nd grade and on the way home after school we stop at Ehrlers for ice cream. His wonderful laughter fills the car as he has me repeat over and over my very bad Godfather impression.
Time passes and my inexperience raising children takes it's toll. I am more stern than I should be, but I never love him less. The little boy, now a young man, begins to reject the path we would have chosen for him; he begins to reject me. At 16 he leaves our home and goes completely wild. He does not finish high school. He becomes an unmarried father before he is 19. We had such dreams for him but they weren't his dreams and with his own children now no one else can stand for him. He must stand on his own for their sake. I pray he does and that all works out, and that he knows love and peace and joy. I pray that his life is long and happy and that the crooked places are made straight.
And somewhere inside the young man who has taken so many wrong turns is the little boy who hugged my neck with so much love. And I miss him with all of my heart.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
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