Shadows of things past

I see a little 2 yr old boy so happy to see me. I can feel the love from him as he hugs my neck and says to his mother "share Gabriel". He wants to go with me to band practice. He follows me everywhere.

It is his 4th Christmas season and his mother and I have taken him to lunch at a Ponderosa restaurant. After we are seated I excuse myself and walking past several tables I hear the sound of his feet running after me as he, apparently needing to go to the restroom, is yelling loudly, "Gabriel! Gabriel! You gotta poop? You gotta poop?". Heading back to our table with him in a few minutes I am red faced with embarrassment as everyone is looking at us and smiling, but it makes a great and funny story over the years to come.

The little man is 5 yrs old and a little sister has come along. He is protective of her and I am glad. He has been and will remain close to his natural father, as is right, but he has begun, on his own, calling me dad too since her birth. We are on a vacation to Sea World and I am video taping him petting, or trying to pet, the dolphins as he calls to them, "If you come to me I'll be sweet to you". He is a great kid.

He is in the 2nd grade and on the way home after school we stop at Ehrlers for ice cream. His wonderful laughter fills the car as he has me repeat over and over my very bad Godfather impression.

Time passes and my inexperience raising children takes it's toll. I am more stern than I should be, but I never love him less. The little boy, now a young man, begins to reject the path we would have chosen for him; he begins to reject me. At 16 he leaves our home and goes completely wild. He does not finish high school. He becomes an unmarried father before he is 19. We had such dreams for him but they weren't his dreams and with his own children now no one else can stand for him. He must stand on his own for their sake. I pray he does and that all works out, and that he knows love and peace and joy. I pray that his life is long and happy and that the crooked places are made straight.

And somewhere inside the young man who has taken so many wrong turns is the little boy who hugged my neck with so much love. And I miss him with all of my heart.

My child singing "Mirror" by Barlow Girl

I'm With You

"Jesus' Life In Me" - An original song that I hope you enjoy.

Unlawful Words

"It is doubtless not profitable for me to boast. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord: I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago—whether in the body I do not know, or whether out of the body I do not know, God knows—such a one was caught up to the third heaven. And I know such a man—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— how he was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter." 2 Corinthians 12: 1-4

"Do you think we'll ever know what those unlawful, inexpressible,words are?" the question is asked.

Wouldn't that be something? Words that God has kept from our ears that only someone "caught up" to heaven could hear.

But.... why would these words be hidden? And does that make sense? "Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom" Jesus said. And why would they be "unlawful".

Perhaps we are not reading, not really, what is written. Maybe being “unlawful”, or inexpressible in the context of being unlawful, does not mean unspoken or unheard.

For context let us establish of whom that person is that Paul is speaking that heard the unlawful words.

Staying in the context leading up to Paul's speaking of unlawful words we find that Paul is speaking of himself as he reveals in verse 7 of the same chapter.

“And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.” 2 Corinthians 12: 1-4

In the first verses of Chapter 12 Paul is using the literary device of referring to himself in the third person as he continues, as he has been doing in the previous chapters, to separate himself from those pretenders who would challenge his authority to the Corinthian church. Though the Corinthian church has been established in the Lord through Paul's faithfulness he will not boast in this, though comparatively he would have the right, but rather will boast only in Christ!

"For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond measure, but within the limits of the sphere which God appointed us—a sphere which especially includes you. For we are not overextending ourselves (as though our authority did not extend to you), for it was to you that we came with the gospel of Christ; not boasting of things beyond measure, that is, in other men’s labors, but having hope, that as your faith is increased, we shall be greatly enlarged by you in our sphere, to preach the gospel in the regions beyond you, and not to boast in another man’s sphere of accomplishment. But “he who glories, let him glory in the LORD.” For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends." 2 Corinthians 10: 12-18

Paul says those boasting by comparing themselves to others are not wise, but he (Paul) will boast in preaching the gospel of Christ. He then, in his witty way, begins to chide the Corinthians for receiving those who would question Paul's authority, or question the gospel they received from him. He warns against receiving a different message than the one he proclaimed. The proof of the Gospel he proclaimed, and of his Apostleship, is in their thorough knowledge of him ( he was with them for a year and half - Acts 18:)

"Oh, that you would bear with me in a little folly—and indeed you do bear with me. For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.For if he who comes preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted—you may well put up with it! For I consider that I am not at all inferior to the most eminent apostles. Even though I am untrained in speech, yet I am not in knowledge. But we have been thoroughly manifested among you in all things. " 2 Corinthians 11: 1-6

Paul explains to the Corinthians that those who seek to boast in a different message, or any credentials, other than faith in Christ are false Apostles as any message that would take them from the simplicity of Christ is a false message.

Continuing his theme of distinguishing between what is unworthy (ourselves) and what is worthy (Christ) of boasting Paul demonstrates that those whose boast in themselves have nothing to boast of according to the flesh that he does not himself possess, yet he considers this foolish boasting.

"For you put up with fools gladly, since you yourselves are wise! For you put up with it if one brings you into bondage, if one devours you, if one takes from you, if one exalts himself, if one strikes you on the face. To our shame I say that we were too weak for that! But in whatever anyone is bold—I speak foolishly—I am bold also. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I." 2 Corinthians 11:19-22

In Corinth, as in Galatia and elsewhere, there were those who would follow in after Paul who would in effect say that in addition to believing in Jesus one would also need to keep the law of Moses. Claiming their decendancy from Abraham as proof of their authority they taught that Jesus "plus" circumcision, feast days, and the other aspects of the law were necessary to belonging to the fellowship of believers. Their message was Jesus "plus" while Paul's message was simply "Jesus". Paul taught that if any received this message from those coming after him they would be bound by the requirements of the Law and the futility of their own works. As he explained in Galatians 5:3 "And I testify again to every man who becomes circumcised that he is a debtor to keep the whole law." If anyone thought they were to add anything to Christ as requirement to be pleasing to God they were deceived. Paul had delivered to them a message of freedom in Christ and they were putting up with fools who would exalt themselves as being something simply because of fleshly lineage. All the while these purveyors of legalism were bringing others into their same bondage; the bondage of works instead of the liberty of grace for "...by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin." Romans 3:20.

For Paul true righteousness was not found by the works of the law, but by faith in Christ. It is this faith in Christ that gives one the will, and catch this, to not want to, and the power to resist, sin. Paul taught that we have died with Christ (Colossians 2:20) and asked “how can we are to dead to sin live in it?” (Romans 6:2) It is not keeping an external law that makes one holy, but rather it is have the Holy One living on the inside and writing His Law, His Nature, the New Covenant (Hebrews 10:16) ,on our hearts that produces true righteousness. The law of Moses would seek to work from the outside in, but the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus is, if you will pardon the expression, and inside job.

So where to find the "simplicity of Christ" that Paul warned the Corinthians in the first verses of 2Corinthians 11 not to be corrupted from? It is found in the unlawful words. Not the works of the law of Moses; that is keeping feast days, circumcision, not even the 10 - nothing but simple faith in Christ, and for Paul to say such things was.....UNLAWFUL.

Imagine being a Pharisee trained and studied in the Old Covenant Law, which is very specific about penalties and what brought them about, and hearing Paul's words contrasted with the LAW!

"But if you do not obey Me, and do not observe all these commandments, and if you despise My statutes, or if your soul abhors My judgments, so that you do not perform all My commandments, but break My covenant, I also will do this to you: I will even appoint terror over you, wasting disease and fever which shall consume the eyes and cause sorrow of heart. And you shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. I will set My face against you, and you shall be defeated by your enemies. Those who hate you shall reign over you, and you shall flee when no one pursues you. ‘And after all this, if you do not obey Me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins." Leviticus 26:14-18 LAWFUL

"not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." Titus 3: 5-7 UNLAWFUL

“If a person sins, and commits any of these things which are forbidden to be done by the commandments of the LORD, though he does not know it, yet he is guilty and shall bear his iniquity." Leviticus 5:17 LAWFUL

"Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Corinthians 5: 20-21 UNLAWFUL

"The soul who sins shall die." Ezekiel 18:4 LAWFUL

"that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." Ephesians 2: 7-9 UNLAWFUL

"Your eye shall not pity: life shall be for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot." Deuteronomy 19: 21 LAWFUL

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." Romans 8: 1-6 UNLAWFUL

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:

“ For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 28-39. UNLAWFUL

You can almost hear the legalist of the day shouting at Paul , "Nothing can separate us Paul? You know the LAW tells us differently! Sin separates which is why we must make sacrifices and follow the letter! Are you out of your mind?!? You are saying to trust Jesus, that faith in Jesus, is all that is required? Are you mad?!? That is UNLAWFUL !!! "

Will we ever know the unlawful words spoken of by Paul?

Oh yes. I pray they are alive in our hearts and on our lips daily!

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled: A Study In John 14

Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. (John 14:1-3)

What do you think of when you hear or read this passage of scripture?

Of all the words spoken none reach to the heart with more hope and joy then the words of our Lord Jesus. His words transcend time and place, and reach to any heart that will open to His soothing grace.

Often times we read a verse or two of scripture by themselves because of the comfort they impart and sometimes miss the greater beauty of the same verses when taken together in their context.

The above is an oft quoted and beautiful passage. The first few verses of John 14 are many times recited at funerals for their comfort, or in messages longing for the final day.

I would like to pause for a moment and consider this passage in the beauty of its context.

This is from a conversation that begins in John 13:12.

It is the night of the Last Supper. It is the night before Jesus is crucified. Jesus has washed the feet of the disciples. He tells them that one of them will betray Him.

After Judas leaves the room Jesus tells the 11 remaining disciples that where He is going they cannot follow.

At this point we could say He is going to heaven, but let’s keep the conversation in the context of the night it is spoken and see it as a bit more immediate than that.

Where is He going?

The cross.

He then tells them to love one another.

Peter asks, “Lord, where are you going?”

Jesus tells Peter that he can’t follow Him now, but that he shall follow Him afterward. Here again let’s stay with the immediacy of the moment and as we realize that Jesus is speaking of the cross, let’s remember that church history tells us that Peter was also crucified…upside-down.

Not at this time. That will come later.

Afterward.

Peter then says, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for your sake.”

What happens next in the text is the unfortunate placement of a chapter break from the translators, following the last verse in John 13.

At the end of chapter 13 Jesus is having an intense and heartrending conversation with Peter. From the last verse of chapter 13 into chapter 14 you will notice there is no change of speaker; no change of conversation.

It is still but hours from the cruel death of the cross, and Jesus is still speaking to Peter.
Let’s read it as one conversation, which it is, without a chapter break, beginning with the last verse of chapter 13… Speaking to Peter:

Jesus answered him, “Will you lay down your life for My sake? Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow until you have denied Me three times. Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”

The conversation is with Peter. Jesus tells Peter, who loves Him, that he will deny Him and then immediately Jesus, who is about to be betrayed and crucified, comforts Peter! After telling him that he will deny Him he says don’t let your heart be troubled! The same way you believe in God believe in Me! Jesus equates Himself with Deity (He is God) and says in His Father’s House are many mansions (abodes, dwellings)! (“..do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” 1Corinthians 3:16)

He tells Peter, as He has been telling them throughout the night, that He is going, and that he is going to prepare a place for him.

Where?

The cross!

Jesus prepared a place for us at the cross! By His sacrifice, and faith in His sacrifice, He made a place for us in the Kingdom!

He then tells Peter that once that place is prepared He would come and receive him unto Himself.

On the day of Pentecost the Spirit of God, the Holy Ghost, which is the Spirit of Jesus (Ephesians 4:4-5) filled 120 in the upper room and the Church was born. Jesus has been receiving souls unto Himself since that day!

Notice the wording; “that where I am” He says, “you may be also”.

Jesus didn’t say where I am going to be you’re going to be there too, He said where I am there you may be also.

Where was He?

He was in a state of perfect union and sonship with the Father. This is the place that He prepared for us by His sacrifice at Calvary! Now, by that Sacrifice, we can call God, Father!

Rather than a statement about our future destiny after this life, Jesus is giving a comforting proclamation of our ever-present condition in Him, through Hs Grace, because of what He has done for us.

Eternal life begins not when we die, but when we place our faith in Christ and receive His Spirit! His Life!

This eternal life we receive will never end and will carry us today, and through eternity in Him!

How wondrous is the Love of God!

Dale Hoskins August 17 1965 - September 16 2007

Grace: My wife is recovering from breast cancer. The outlook is very good.

Tragedy: My brother died September 16, 2007. He was 42.

I am the oldest of four brothers . Over the past couple of years the two youngest brothers have been in motorcycle accidents, and the youngest had been shot. My brother Dale was the next oldest at a year and 4 months younger than me. Dale too loved riding his motorcycle, and was the only of my brothers not to have been injured riding one.



Sunday September 16 he was supposed to help our younger brother Mark move a dog house, but told him on the phone that his arms were hurting and he didn't think he could do it. He was going to take a bath and see if a soak in the tub would make him feel better. In his house the kitchen is just steps away from the bathroom, and as he was in the bath he spoke to a cousin on the phone, and after hanging up with her was talking to his wife as she prepared lunch. She heard him gasp twice. She went into the bathroom to see what was wrong, and he was gone.

Just like that.

His wife, shaken and unsure of what to do, called our younger bother Mark and told him Dale wasn't responding to her. He told her to call 911, and that he would be right there. Getting there before emergence services he tried cpr, but to no avail. Our brother was gone. He called our Dad, and then our Mom, not telling her what had happened but that she needed to come to Dale's house as soon right away. When she arrived EMS was there. Dale was still in the tub. The water was drained, and his waist covered with a towel. My mother came into the house and climbed into the tub with my brother weeping, and holding him. My brother Mark was outside and told that he needed to "get" his mother. He pulled her away and out of the tub.

The coroner arrived. The idea of autopsy on his young son was too much for Dad, and he told the coroner the he didn't "know his d_n job". The coroner threatened to have our Dad arrested. In reality a coroner can order an autopsy of his, or her, own accord to find the cause of death in someone still considered young. The autopsy later revealed that my brother was in need of a quadruple bypass surgery. He died from a massive heart attack.

I live 2 hours away from the rest of my family. That Sunday morning was sunny. Around 8:30 am we began driving our "new to us" Mazda to church. Just a couple of miles down the road the car stopped, and would not start. Triple A was called and the car was towed to our friends house, a friend who has many times kept whatever car we were driving up and going. By the time we got home and took my "work car" to church the morning was mostly over. We went to lunch with a couple from our Sunday School class at a local Ponderosa restaurant. As we were eating and talking my cell phone rang, and the caller i.d. indicated that it was my brother Mark.

"Hey little brother!"

"Brother, I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

Uh oh... Mom??...Dad??

"What is it?"

"It's Dale. He's had a heart attack"

Ok...They'll probably go the hospital in Lexington...I need to leave here and get going...

but then Mark says...

"He didn't make it."

What??

"Oh Mark....don't say that. Say anything but that." I repeated this several times.

I wish I wasn't saying it brother"

"Are Mom and Dad there?"

"Mom is on her way. We're waiting on the coroner. I need to get off here and try to keep Dad out of the house."

"I love you Mark. I just don't even know what to say. We're going to leave now. We'll see you in a little bit."

When we arrived at Dale's house he had been taken away. Our family was there and in shock. His wife and my mother in tears at different turns. Dale's wife asked if I thought I could preach the funeral. I asked her to allow me to give an answer the next day, and the next day I said yes. I had decided that no one could do it better than me. There are more eloquent speakers for sure, but none who would have know and loved him as I did. It was, in a way, a last chance to do something that would somehow honor my brother.

The day of the funeral we remembered his life; his childhood , and his pride in his children. We remembered his laughter, and the way his larger than life personality would take over a room as soon as he entered. We thanked God for his life, and committed him into the Hands of the Savior Who loves us and never forsakes us. The last of those to walk past his casket at the end of the service found it the hardest. Our youngest brother Doug through tears said "I love you Dale". Our mother could hardly be moved away from the casket, and our Dad too was heartbroken. Dales' son daughter and son remained at the casket for several minutes weeping and saying goodbye. His wife kissed him one final time. At forty two years his leaving was far too soon for all of us.

Our brother Mark and a procession of Dales friends on motorcycles led the way to the cemetery that sits atop a hill in our small hometown where my brother lived. As family and friends gathered around the graveside they revved their engines in a loud and touching salute. When the roar of the motorcycles subsided I prayed and our family slowly, a few at a time, made our way back downhill not really wanting to leave. Dales children stayed behind as the casket was lowered into the ground.

We said farewell to our beloved. He was the biggest, the strongest, the loudest. And life will never be the same.

We said farewell, but never good bye.

Never.

Mr. Dale Bradford Hoskins

Born: 08/17/1965 Died: 09/16/2007 Visitation: After 5PM Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2007 at McKnight Funeral Home Funeral Service: 1PM Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007 at McKnight Funeral Home Chapel Interment: Crab Orchard Cemetery

Dale Bradford Hoskins, age 42 died Sunday, September 16, 2007 at his residence. He is the husband of Donnie Jean Shelton Hoskins whom he married January 27, 1995. Dale was born August 17, 1965 in Mt. Vernon, Kentucky. He is the son of Joe Hoskins and Janet Hoskins Frazier. He was a truck driver for Superservice in Somerset, KY. He previously attended the Crab Orchard Christian Church. His favorite hobby was riding his motorcycle. Survivors include: Wife: Donnie Jean Shelton Hoskins of Crab Orchard, KY One Daughter: Annegillette Hoskins of Paris, kY One Son: Jimmy Dale Hoskins of Paris, KY Mother: Janet Proffitt Hoskins Frazier of Crab Orchard, Ky Father: Joe Hoskins of Crab Orchard, KY Three Brothers: Gabriel Lee (Joey) Hoskins of Louisville, KY Mark Shannon Hokins of Stanford, KY Richard Douglas Hoskins of Crab Orchard, KY Dale was preceded in death by a daughter, Kayla Marie Hoskins Funeral Services: 1PM Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007 Place of Services: McKnight Funeral Home Chapel Minister: Gabriel Lee (Joey) Hoskins Place of Burial: Crab Orchard Cemetery Visitation will be after 5PM Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2007 at McKnight Funeral Home Pallbearers Include: Douglas Ray Hoskins, James Proffitt, Scott Bruner, Jerry Shelton, Devon Shelton and Jerry Shelton, Jr. Honorary Pallbearers Include: Chase Hoskins and Adam Shelton

Rainy Thanksgiving day.


My brother Mark, on the right, and I at Dale's grave on Christmas day.

Life goes on...

My wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer April 19. We were told the cancer was 2.4 cm, and she was given the choice of Lumpectomy or Mastectomy. Had the tumor been 4cm she would have had no choice. She chose Lumpectomy. Everything we looked at said the recovery rates for conditions as her were the same so we went with the least invasive. Thankfully the doctors moved quickly and the tumor was successfully removed on April 27. She is off work and recovering at home now, and regaining strength from the surgery. Her first Chemo treatment is this Friday. After three months of Chemo, a treatment every two weeks, she will begin Radiation treatments for six weeks, 5 days a week. We are thankful for God's mercy in allowing the cancer to be found when it was, and for seeing her through the surgery and treatments. Our 15th wedding anniversary was April 29th, but knowing the surgery was coming we went to dinner the night before the surgery and had a very nice time.

If someone wants to find a Bible verse about compassion and forgiveness, then I am the guy. To actually see someone live these things one can look at my wife as an example. She has no guile. She is, quite simply, the best part of us.

The last weekend in March the youngest of my three brothers, the one who had been recovering from the gunshot wound, was in a very bad motorcycle accident. He is the second of my brothers to be involved in a motorcycle accident. He was not wearing a helmet. The skin on the right side of his face , and his forehead, was shredded on concrete and and a nerve is right eye damaged, and he now sees very little out of that eye. His wrist was also broken. He was in ICU one day and home the next - we were told that had nothing to do with his lack of health insurance. Our mother spend the next few weeks dressing his wounds. On the same day as my wife's surgery he was at a doctors office in another city being told there was nothing to be done for his eye as the nerve had not been severed, but shattered. He has made his living driving a truck, but does not believe his vision at this point will allow him to continue doing so. He is looking into job retraining programs.

Though much has happened in a short time God has sustained us and as hard as things have been they could have been much worse. Lives have been in danger but not lost. Thank God.

My beautiful, wonderful daughter turns 12 this Saturday. The fastest 12 years of my life. Money being tight as it is we had to bypass a party, but she understands and has not acted disappointed. We are giving her a shiny new bicycle, and taking her to dinner at her favorite restaurant.

I am hoping for a bright and good day.